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However, most of the following also applies to men who find themselves in this position.) Rona Subotnik illuminates a list of paradoxical realities that you may find yourself living with as the other woman.Here is my version of her findings: Treasured, but used Being in love gives you the feeling that you are precious and treasured by him, but you cannot help but wonder…if it wasn’t for the sex, would he still want to be with me?You find yourself forgoing activities that you used to enjoy that might make you unavailable to him should he suddenly have time to see you.The silence of the phone can feel like the bars of this prison.You tell yourself their marriage is already over anyway, or that it’s not your responsibility, but his, since he is the one cheating and you are not cheating on anyone.However, deep down you know you have made a choice to participate in something that can result in devastation for any number of people.However, at the same time you know you are treating yourself as if you do not deserve someone who could be there for you 100%.

You know he could decide at any time to stop the affair and try to work on the marriage, or that his wife or someone else can find out and blow his cover.Sitting alone on New Year’s Eve or Saturday night, you feel you have no power at all.Feeling very good/very bad about yourself Everyone’s self esteem soars when they experience attracting someone who is attractive to them.Your sense of intimacy with your lover can seem more intense when he becomes one of the few people you can really talk to.Free, but a prisoner You have been freed from the dating game, from the painful aspects of being single, yet you are tied to his schedule.

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