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She’d giggle as cameramen slapped her ass, the giggle proof that they couldn’t harm her. I got 100-percent attendance for four years of Bible school and kept my teal four-in-one scripture set by the side of my bed.

I marked it full with transparent stickers, pink highlighter and tiny notes carefully scrawled in my best handwriting along the margins.

They’d call me a whore and I’d say things like “Yes, daddy” in a robotic lilt. The thousand dollars that I’d moved there with drained away fast as I worked on extra sets making 0 a day, really when you figure in the bank fees of cashing the checks that the studios gave us. Two weeks later, a balding man wrote me a

She’d giggle as cameramen slapped her ass, the giggle proof that they couldn’t harm her. I got 100-percent attendance for four years of Bible school and kept my teal four-in-one scripture set by the side of my bed.I marked it full with transparent stickers, pink highlighter and tiny notes carefully scrawled in my best handwriting along the margins.They’d call me a whore and I’d say things like “Yes, daddy” in a robotic lilt. The thousand dollars that I’d moved there with drained away fast as I worked on extra sets making $100 a day, really $85 when you figure in the bank fees of cashing the checks that the studios gave us. Two weeks later, a balding man wrote me a $1,200 check for my first porn scene.When the scene cut they’d pet my hair and gently ask if I wanted an Evian. I started nude modeling when I realized I wouldn’t be able to pay my rent, answering an ad in the back of an LA Weekly. When a photographer told me I could make twice as much working in porn, I shook my head. He filmed it with one of those handheld recorders at his home in Calabasas.She was unapologetically ambitious, negotiating for more money than even the most experienced actors received.She became California – a convertible driver, a vegetarian.Where I had shopped off sales racks at Ross, Wendy James got rich men to buy her expensive, strappy lace underwear.I became her for a while until she led me into a car crash, a meth addiction, and Manny, an abusive boyfriend who was kind in that he bought me foundation that matched my skin when he left me with black eyes.

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She’d giggle as cameramen slapped her ass, the giggle proof that they couldn’t harm her. I got 100-percent attendance for four years of Bible school and kept my teal four-in-one scripture set by the side of my bed.

I marked it full with transparent stickers, pink highlighter and tiny notes carefully scrawled in my best handwriting along the margins.

They’d call me a whore and I’d say things like “Yes, daddy” in a robotic lilt. The thousand dollars that I’d moved there with drained away fast as I worked on extra sets making $100 a day, really $85 when you figure in the bank fees of cashing the checks that the studios gave us. Two weeks later, a balding man wrote me a $1,200 check for my first porn scene.

,200 check for my first porn scene.

He duct taped my hands behind my back and threw me on his bed.

I sat in a beat-up car during 405 rush-hour traffic with a man named Mike.

We’d spent all day together at his house, where I’d dressed up in a little plaid school-girl outfit and sucked a lollipop while he photographed me for Hustler subsidiary “Barely Legal.”Wendy James was everything that I wasn’t but that I wanted to be.

I pushed the pedestrian walk button at the traffic stop 12 times in quick succession. Before I hit the big red “Report” button, I paused and scrolled through the pictures.

They were mostly screenshots taken from films staring “Wendy James.” I laughed quietly as I read the titles linked to her page.

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