Dating someone who is guarded
I touched upon this conflict earlier in a post about the difficulty of LGBTQ Christian dating.I even gave it a fancy name: The Khalaf Self-Disclosure Discrepancy Theorem.Essentially, the more disparate you and your partner are in the stages of self-disclosure, the more stress it will impose upon your relationship.
Your relationship will always have an undercurrent of fear while you are still closeted.
Is the open partner willing be complicit in hiding the relationship in certain situations and, if so, what are those circumstances?
How long is the open partner willing to wait for the closeted partner to come out?
Constantino and I faced a very mild version of this early on.
He was fully out when we first started dating, and although I was out, my sexuality wasn’t information I had offered up to certain circles of my life (I call this “closeted by omission”).