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Now Trump will go forth speaking in his usual incoherent vernacular as he vies to become the first president removed by a military coup d’état for blundering incompetence.

Hillary countered by showboating her vice-presidential pick, Tim Kaine of Virginia, America’s new high school Spanish teacher.

Translation: you can’t handle the truth so somebody please bring out the rainbow-leaping unicorns. Hence: Trump Versus Hillary, the odious versus the tedious, the election to end all elections. “I am your voice,” he bellowed to the assembled delegates dressed in costumes that made them appear like rodeo clowns from another planet.

The American zeitgeist is a tattered garment worn by a three hundred pound tranny in a diabetic coma. I derived scant enlightenment listening to the Republican nominee Trump’splainin’ just how he will . And that speech was carefully crafted by supposed professionals and mounted on a telepromper.

Though all drivers are subject to background checks before being allowed to pick up passengers, it’s unclear how thoroughly they’re vetted.

Despite comprehensive explanations like this guide to Washington, DC’s background check process, drivers with violent pasts have been known to slip through the cracks.

Now comes the Democratic Annunciation of I’m-With-Her-It’s-My-Turn, the incarnation of crony corruption in our late-state Republic of safer and more reliable than jumping into any random taxi that happens to be passing by, it isn’t.Both companies’ business structures ensure that they aren’t held accountable for the actions of individual drivers — drivers are hired as independent contractors (sometimes condescendingly referred to as “driver-partners”), and training rarely extends beyond a couple of 5-minute videos explaining how the app works.The benefits are obvious — DUIs are noticeably down in cities where ridership is up, and clicking a button on your phone to reserve a ride is way easier than fighting through a crowd of drunks to battle over a passing taxi.As Uber and Lyft engage in cutthroat price-gauging to better compete against one another, fares have become much more affordable and ride-sharing has become a realistic possibility to passengers in lower income brackets.

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