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A lawsuit filed by the state in October sought to block the ordinances and to secure the return of more than .4 million in state grants the town has received from the state Department of Environmental Protection.It characterized the town's actions as resembling "1950s-era white flight suburbanites" who sought to keep blacks out of their neighborhoods.She was allowed limited, supervised visitation and she had to stick to the script: no acknowledgment of her homosexuality to the youngest kids.The new arrangement took a toll on the children, at this point pre-teens, and every moment felt like a test.Over the next three years, she slowly found a community outside the austere ultra-Orthodox one from which she was raised never to stray.

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The following month, a judge ordered that the kids be immediately removed from her care."To him, you can't raise Hasidic kids with a queer mother," Chavie tells The Post.

But her rabbi, who makes the call on such family matters, initially denied her request."[I] couldn't live a lie, married to a person I didn't love," says Chavie, who readily agreed to raise their children, ages 2, 3 and 5 at the time, Hasidic, according to the Jewish divorce papers or "get."She continued to shave her head, wear a sheitel [wig] and drape herself in long skirts as she walked the streets of Borough Park.

She also dutifully went on dates with men her mother arranged, but they never felt right.

"I wanted to be a good mother and make enough money to support our family," she says.

In keeping with certain ultra-Orthodox traditions, Naftali studied the Torah while Chavie was the breadwinner, working as a teacher, running an after-school program and tutoring on the side.

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