Validating hurt feelings in a relationship
We really don’t know what it is like for them and we need to learn what they have experienced.Generally, when people feel understood they are more open to receiving help and locating a place of calm within their soul.Many of the struggling marriages I’ve worked with have exhibited one or more of these negative behavior patterns.Absolutely crucial, I believe, to the success of any marriage is for couples to minimize the occurrence these four negative behavior patterns from their relationships.
When they share more, we learn more and are more likely to help them in a supportive, non-threatening way that gets at the root of the problem.
” “It appears to me that you felt very disrespected in this situation.” “It must be difficult to have so much sadness around this issue.” “I’m sensing that this brought up real feelings of betrayal.” “Tell me if I have it correct.
What I heard you say was my statement was very hurtful towards you and it is not the first time you have felt this way.” “Let me make sure I’ve got this straight.
There are often barriers that impact our willingness or ability to follow through with this healing step. • If I validate, they will get stuck in complaining about their problem.
This is a list of some fears or barriers others have noted in their attempts to validate: • If I validate, I won’t be heard (or my pain won’t be understood). • If I validate others, their emotions will escalate and get out of control.